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Food Pairing 101: What Goes With Veganomicon’s Baked Potato and Greens Soup?

Scene 1 The kitchen. Tender Branson enters from the left side. He is visibly agitated and vigorously waving his hand in front of his noise. Tender: Good goddamn man. Why does it smell like fish in here? I’m going to have to remedy that. Tender shuffles around in some cabinets and pulls out a big pot. He grabs a copy of Veganomicon from his bookshelf and then […]

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Cook: Curried Quinoa and Tomato Stew

Sometime in the mid-2000′s people began expelling their former lover gluten from the bedroom. They were sick and tired of the name calling, the fat jokes and the physical swelling of their belly (gluten seems to become physical when it gets angry). While still recovering from the break-up, the complete protein of quinoa stealthily began seducing everyone hoping to take gluten’s place. It worked. Now, despite the fact […]

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Cook: Collard Greens and Lima Beans Soup

This week the governor followed up his snakes in the swamp decree by offering a reward for any Floridian who got their hands on a Skunk Ape. I joined three of my best buddies, including Beast Mode (Calla Lily) and we headed out in search of that elusive critter. We searched high and low through the Florida backwoods with nary a sight nor sound (nor smell). […]

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Cook: Avocado Vichyssoise

It has only been two days since Cinco De Mayo passed. That’s not much time in human years but in avocado years, it’s like an eternity. According to scientists, avocados age at a rate that is nearly four million times faster than a human (summed up in a famous paper I wrote in elementary school with the equation 4,000,000 x H = Av). As I perused the […]

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Cook: Lotsa Veggie Lentil Soup

“I don’t always get sick, but when I do I prefer Progresso Lentil Soup.” -Most Interesting Man in the World (circa 2004) Fun fact: before becoming the spokesman for Dos Equis and their most interesting man in the world campaign (which launched in 2006), Jonathan Goldsmith actually auditioned for the same role at Progresso soup. Unfortunately the ad campaign was shelved due to internal strife. […]

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Cook: Onion Famine Soup

“It’s like Adelaide, circa August 1951 up in here.” I sat bolt upright in bed. What the f*** was my brain talking about? I’m an American, I barely know the history of my own country. Hell if I know anything about the history of a continent located on the whole other side of the world. I tried to communicate this to my brain. I had […]

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Food Pairing 101: What Goes Well with E-Dubble’s No Rest for the Wicked

Somedays I want my food a bit wicked. It could be a Boston thing. It could be a horror show thing. It could be naughty like. That’s the beauty of wickedness, it is just so damn versatile. Most importantly, wicked never rests. With that being said here are just a few wicked recipes I would easily recommend. Wicked witches with sombreros, Boston Baked Beans, Wicked […]

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Click: Bitches in the Morning, Chromeo Gets Jealous, Scorpion Topped Pizza And Other Things That Were So This Week

What’s been on my radar for the last few weeks: Music Zella Day “1965″ Chance Waters “Bonnie” featuring the Griswolds Pigeon “Settle In” Say Lou Lou “Everything We Touch” Escapists “Breaking It Up” Dameht “I Love You Too” Crozet “Hold My Weight” Pool “Harm” Twintapes “Everyday Chemical” Eliza and the Bear “Brother’s Boat” Shortstraw “Good Morning Sunshine” Remixes Kings of Leon X Ghost Wars “Use […]

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Cook: Pumpkin and Garbanzo Chowder

It officially hit Florida cold the day which means the temperatures dropped below 70 for a few hours. Kids came to school wearing boots and scarves and thick ass jackets. Walking the halls you could hear little bits of conversations about the weather. Macho things like “I love the cold. I wear shorts all ‘winter’ long” or “I love it when it feels like this […]

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