Every once in a while someone suggests I should start eating fish. I keep a file right beside my desk for all the cases against a change to that type of diet. Today I am going to share one of those cases with you. Ok, case number 18…no here’s a good one. Case number 2675:
A woman in South Korea took a bite of her squid and felt an extremely sharp pain. She told doctors she could feel “bug-like organisms” in her mouth. Doctors hospitalized her immediately and discovered “baby cephalopods” attached to the inside of her mouth. These pods were filled with an “ejaculatory apparatus” that kept discharging sperm very forcefully. (Read more of the story, including a woman who has had hundreds of spearmatophores ejaculate on her fingers without ever feeling a thing, here)
Baby cephalopods shooting sperm into my mouth over and over? I think I’ll pass. Just another reason I like my seafood to come from as far away from the sea as it can.
Yesterday’s seafood was a recipe remix of Clayton Autumsun’s Tuna Muffins (I don’t think Tuna will shoot sperm into your mouth but I’m not risking it). I used a tuna recipe from Main Street Vegan which contains soaked walnuts as the “tuna.”
Vegan Tuna Muffins (Tender Branson Remix)
-a batch of Vegan Tuna (the link is to the closest one to what I used, swap out the lemon with lime and no pickle juice)(you can also use garbanzos, like here)
-Vegan Pepper Jack (if that exists, I just left the cheese off)
1. Make the Vegan Tuna. Set aside.
2. Toast an English Muffin. Spread the tuna on top (if using cheese, place under a broiler for 1-2 minutes). Layer spinach, tomato, any condiments (I used creole mustard) and other English muffin half. Avoid any walnuts trying to shoot sperm into your mouth.
A few band’s I don’t mind having in mouth (as in singing, not the squid type stuff) are Get Cubs, The Invincible Summer and a new remix by Little Daylight. Get Cubs are an English pop band that are currently in the studio finishing up their debut album. Last year they released a five track EP, Lucy, to give listeners a taste of what the band has to offer. Check out the title track as well as an acoustic rendition of “Delilah” (which will be on the new album):
Australia’s The Invincible Summer, named for an Albert Camus quote, are an upbeat indie pop act that have just released their first two singles “Runaway” and “To the Sky.” The former sounds like a kid jumped a train and wound up in a car with Foster the People pumping kicks and Tears for Fears shouting simultaneously. The latter is a slightly mellower dreamy pop song with one helluva glittery guitar solo near the end of it. Both are good, though I’ll take hopping a train any day. Both tracks come from a self-titled debut LP which will hit stores early next year.
The next installment in Little Daylight’s remix roundabout is their take on Niki and the Dove’s “Tomorrow” (previously they’ve taken on Penguin Prison, Edward Sharpe, St. Lucia and Temper Trap). “Tomorrow” is an upbeat ditty that offers enough changes for the ADHD generation. It is slightly slower than what I imagine crack to be but not by much. Now where does the band go next?