Being Something You Aren’t: A Carrot’s Perspective as Told to Hello Phones and Hi Fashion
In my mind there is a huge distinction between being yourself, being what you aren’t and being a sellout. Being yourself is something that everyone should strive for. It is that 
place where, no matter who or what is around, you are true to your beliefs and individuality. But sometimes people want to change their sense of self, they want to become a new self. This is where being what you aren’t comes into play. You aren’t yet everything that you desire in your new self so you can’t really suggest that you are being yourself. There is a transition that must be undertaken. And as long as you are doing it for the right purposes there is nothing wrong with this transition, it is called growing up, changing, evolving. Do it for the wrong reasons, that’s when you are selling out. Let me give you an example from my own life.
When I returned to my apartment back in 1999 I wasn’t even close to being a vegetarian. I was raised in meat country, topping scrapple with bacon and sausage, and I still ate that way (except at that point it came from a can and not my grandparents’ farm). Being a vegetarian meant being something I wasn’t. But here I was contemplating it for a number of reasons. First there was a book, Diet for a New America, that really changed my thinking. Second, all the hot girls were vegetarians or vegans (sellout!). Third there was the hypocrisy of claiming to love the earth but still participating in an act that was devastating to it (I’m not talking small farms here, remember at this point my scrapple came from a corporate can). I looked at being a vegetarian as a challenge. I wanted to prove to myself I could do it. Since then, I haven’t looked back. I eventually became something that I wasn’t.
So what does this have to do with carrots?
Well it seems that at one point or another a person unknown to myself, though I’m assuming it was a hippy foodie, looked at a carrot and thought that they wanted to make the carrot something that it wasn’t. They no longer wanted to enjoy a carrot as a carrot, they wanted to enjoy it as a hot dog. So they took this veggie, mixed it with some spices and vinegars and low an behold out popped a f**king hot dog. Now it won’t trick your staunchest meat eaters. The texture doesn’t match. The taste isn’t a hundred percent either. But for a vegetarian/vegan who is looking for something healthier (and cheaper) than the fake meat hot dog substitutes (sellout!) a carrot fits the bill nicely. I topped my carrot with giardiniera, ketchup and mustard but you could do any combination of hot dog topping you want. I mean that’s how close the taste is (go here for the recipe I used although I replaced the coconut aminos with soy sauce).
I’m going to go out on a limb and make a prediction that Hello Phones knows a thing or two about flavors. I mean aside from the fact that the word graces the top of their facebook page, you can hear the influence in their music. There’s the natural flavoring of guitar, drum and vocals along with a smattering of the artificial in their use of samplers and synths. Crossing lines, blurring genres, sprinkling in some New York influences, that’s the name of the Hello Phones game. The band just released their first album Get it Together. “Drip” and “Aquarium” both come from there:
Hi-Fashion’s flavors are 90′s throwback, disco style synth grooves and sultry vocals. Throw in the occasion falsetto and some out of this world costumes and you’ve got a nice place to start from. The band’s brand new single “Special Delivery Love” has hit the videosphere. Check it below:
Valerie says:
Really love this post! Great one ! And I’ll try that carrot dog recipe!
Kathy Hester says:
I’m so glad you like my carrot recipe. Thanks for passing on the link too!
Tender Branson says:
It was excellent Kathy. I’m going to make them again this week.