You might’ve heard the announcement made today by Kate Middleton and her Princely husband. They shared the name of their brand new daughter, Charlotte Elizabeth Diana, with the public. You might’ve also heard, as reported on both CBS and MTV, that their daughter’s name pretty much ruined my day. I was the guy that took all the money I was saving for my daughter’s college, which isn’t nearly as much as you are imagining, and decided to quadruple it in the best way I knew how. I got in touch with British bookmaker William Hill and told them I wanted to place a bet on the royal baby name. Alice was the favorite at the time, with 4/1 odds, Elizabeth wasn’t far behind garnering 9/2 odds. Other popular choices included Charlotte, Diana, Victoria and Olivia. None of those choices struck me as being royal baby worthy. I mean if Kanye and Kim, who are pretty much the American version of royalty, can come up with something like North, I figured those Brits had something sneaky up their sleeve. So I played that card and put my money on the name Cauliflower Charlotte Diana. Wouldn’t you know it that I had two out of the three names right. But, as Meatloaf once told us, 2 out of 3 doesn’t get you paid.
In honor of Cauliflower Charlotte Diana, I give you Cauliflower Croquettes.
-1 head of cauliflower, cut into florets
-2 cups fresh bread crumbs
-1 cup hazelnut flour
-1 red onion, finely chopped
-2 garlic cloves, pressed
-1/2 cup almond butter
-salt and black pepper, to taste
-oil for frying
1. Steam the cauliflower in a steamer until it is soft enough to mash. Pour the softened cauliflower into a metal bowl.
2. Add the bread crumbs, hazelnut flour, onion, garlic, almond butter, salt and pepper. Use a potato masher to thoroughly mash and mix the ingredients together.
3. Form the cauliflower mixture into small disks.
4. Heat the oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add the disks, a couple at a time, and fry for about three minutes a side. You want the croquettes to be golden in color.
5. Place the croquettes on a paper towel lined plate and pat dry. Serve croquettes topped with hot sauce.